I must have been MIA for awhile, because it had gotten dark outside. My dick classmates just left me on the floor, pathetically covered in Professor Burbidge’s brains. I dragged my hands across my face and ran them through my hair, trying to get as much of the gunk off as I could. When my head stopped buzzing, I stood up and collected my things. The classroom looked like…well, it looked like a mutant creature blew up a college professor’s head and the students reacted accordingly. Desks were overturned, textbooks and notebooks were scattered across the floor, and there was a good amount of blood smeared all over the front of the classroom. I thought of the mutant, and my body stiffened slightly. Was it still in the room with me? I cautiously approached the remains of Professor Burbidge. There was a long crimson streak on the floor that led from Professor Burbidge’s neck to the door.
“I’ll miss your class, Professor Burbidge,” I blurted out, as if the guy still had a head, “Sorry about what happened. I don’t imagine you wanted to die like this. It’s kind of exposing to have everyone see what the inside of your head looked like. Anyway, I’ll do my best to avenge you. Don’t expect much though. I’m not a great writer, and I’m sure as hell not prepared to kill whatever did this to you. But I’ll try.”
I left his headless body and walked towards the door, gripping the strap of my bag tightly just in case I needed it to flail at the dreaded mutant. The door creaked slightly and I stepped out into the fluorescent-lit hallway of Milton Bennion Hall. As gross as the classroom looked when I left, nothing could have prepared me for the scene of horror and violence that awaited me outside.
Several more headless bodies were sprawled across the hallway. Gallons of blood had gathered into tidepools where the floor was uneven, and it had been spattered across the white brick walls like a Jackson Pollock painting. The sweetly metallic smell of it stung my nose as I tried to avoid stepping in anyone’s fluids while I made my way outside. A mutant screech echoed from somewhere else in the building, and it was a bit too close for my liking. I held up my backpack, facing the impending reality that I was in danger, and a damn backpack wasn’t going to be able to protect me. I looked around the hallway for anything I could use as an improvised weapon. Really, anything hard or sharp would be more effective than a leather bag containing two textbooks.
I wasn’t having much luck until I noticed some legs wearing brown Timberlands, now spotted with blood, sticking out from beneath the body of a girl wearing scrubs. A surge of adrenaline pulsed through me as I remembered seeing a maintenance guy wearing these on campus a few times. I thought he was stupid for paying $150 for Timberlands and then actually working in them, and he and his tool belt stuck in my memory.
As respectfully as I could, I rolled Scrub Girl’s body off of the mystery legs, which revealed the previously mentioned tool belt attached to Timberland Guy’s waist. I removed a claw hammer from its holster and felt slightly more confident in defending myself against the evil that had besieged the campus. Not much more confident, however, because I dropped my weapon as soon as I heard Timberland Guy’s cell phone blare out a refrain of “Yeah” by Lil’ Wayne. This made me remember a horrifying detail about today, and that detail was that I left my cell phone at home. Damn. That’s what I get for trying to be a more respectful student in class. The thought of outside contact made me realize that I hadn’t really considered the scope of my situation. Were people’s heads blowing up all across the state? The country? The world? Timberland Guy’s phone kept ringing, and I decided that I’d need a cell phone, at least to contact the police. I removed Timberland Guy’s phone from his back pocket, and instead of hitting the “silence Lil’ Wayne” button, I pushed the “Hello, who is it?” button. As a result of my unfamiliarity of these cool new Vonix Smartphones, I was greeted with the shrill voice of a hysterical woman.
NEXT:
"CONTACT"
The Bug: "Catch a Fire"
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