“Guys, something’s coming. Fast.”
“I see them,” Randall replied with a slight quiver to his voice, “Two of ‘em. Coming from where we left the bus.”
“Shit!” Maxine burst out, “Let’s get back into the bathroom before it sees us!”
“I think it might be too late,” Elvis said as we huddled together, “Whatever it is, it knows we’re here. Grab somethin’ to fight with!” Up until Elvis uttered these words, I was filled with absolute panic. We had something to fight with.
“The amp!” I shouted, “It is a weapon! It’ll kill these bastards!”
“Ed, we’re about to be attacked and possibly flayed alive. Please get a grip.” I could hear the despair in Maxine’s voice.
“Trust me,” I said calmly, “I need someone to bring me my guitar, plug it into the amp, and aim it towards those things coming at us.” In a few minutes, I felt my guitar shoved into my waiting arms.
“You better be right, blind man,” Randall growled as he connected my instrument to the amp, “It’s plugged in, but there’s no power cord! How you gonna use this thing?”
“Just aim the amp and stand back!” I yelled, hoping and praying that something miraculous would happen. The fiery blob had now gotten close enough for me to see its twisted shape, and I could hear its razor chains clink together as it ran. I slashed my hand across the strings, and immediately felt my instrument charge and pulsate with electricity. What happened next was quite extraordinary. The guitar became warm in my hands, and I could feel each note explode from the amp as if I was firing a submachine gun. I heard brief shrieks of pain, a diarrhea-like splatter, and then a series of cheers from Randall, Elvis, and Maxine.
“Day-umn, bro!” Elvis chuckled, “You vaporized the hell outt’ve ‘it! A blue laser beam shot outta the amp and blew that thing right off its legs!” The praises and laughter continued for a few more minutes until Maxine said, “Anyone have any idea what the hell that thing was? I know more like it attacked us last night, but what are they? Where’d they come from?”
“What did it look like?” I asked, hoping for something different than a human made out of fire and rage.
“It looked, y’know human, but…all mangled and bloody. The thing had chains wrapped around its body, like it was welded to its skin. Oh, it was wearin’ some sort of iron helmet, so I couldn’t see its face. Y’all think there could be a weird ass cult of godless sodomites out here?” Randall’s description made my skin crawl slightly.
“Who cares what it was,” Elvis chimed in, “That amp over there dusted it off pretty nice, and that’s all that matters to me.” There was a moment of silence. Pieces of a strange puzzle suddenly formed themselves together into a clear picture. Our immediate future was clouded by uncertainty and darkness. But we didn’t have to face it alone and unarmed.
“The signs are pretty clear. We’re musicians and the amp turns music into a weapon. We’ve been given an opportunity to fight whatever these things are, and I think we have to take it.” My companions waited for a few moments, and I was worried that my feeble attempt at a battle cry had fallen flat.
“So…” Elvis began, “You’re suggesting that in light of the apocalypse, we form a band?” Maxine and Randall looked strangely satisfied with this idea.
“Hell, I’m game,” Elvis continued, “What’re we gonna call ourselves?”
